My Confusion and I

Let me tell you a story. It's not long but it's an important one. It starts with 3 innocent boys on their way home from school and it ends with 3 bodies being found a couple of weeks later. This isn't a nightmare, this isn't a made up story. It's the truth about Gilad, Naftali and Eyal. 3 innocent boys that got kidnapped and killed. What for you might ask? Because there are people in this world that don't behave like humans and feel the need to kidnap innocent people and kill them. No words can describe the grief we're feeling. I didn't know these boys but knowing they had done nothing means that it could have been me, my friend or even my brother. But it doesn't matter if I knew them or not. They were a part of our nation, our religion and a part of our hearts. Even if you don't believe in God they were a part of our prayers since the day they got kidnapped. The whole nation is mourning the loss of Gilad, Naftali and Eyal. We are asking for ...

A little bit over a week ago 3 innocent boys where kidnapped in Israel. Some might say they were on occupied territory, some might say they were in Israel. To me it doesn't matter. These boys had not harmed anyone. They were simply trying to get to somewhere by doing what they usually do, hitch-hike, when they got taken away without anyone knowing where they are. 3 mothers, 3 fathers are waiting for their sons to return. They are going everyday without knowing if their sons are alive. Personally, I can't imagine that feeling. I don't think anyone can but there is one feeling I can have about the situation and that feeling is frustration. As a Jew I very often have to defend Israel. People often ask me if I agree with Israel killing innocent people and if I think it's ok for Jews to live on the West Bank. I usually answer them with my opinion because I'm not afraid to say what I stand for but in this situation my opinion about what Israel does doesn't matter. T...

L'Oréal has told me that I'm worth it many a time. Everytime I see an advert they try to convince me that I'm worth it. What IT is has remained a mystery to me. A new hair color? Better skin? Makeup that stays on for longer? Or maybe they are on about something completely different. So instead of taking this slogan and trying to find L'Oréal's meaning behind it I have adapted my own. My last blog post was an exception to my rule about me not writing about personal things on the blog. This was my second exception in about a month and it seems like I am making my 3rd exception now but I've realised that being personal and sharing your own experience can have a positive effect on people. So first of all I want to thank the people that have showed their support after reading my last post. I wasn't expecting people to be understanding but I have received a few reactions, all of them being supportive. So how am I going to make the exception this time? Well l...

I am depressed. Not in the way that you think about how you're feeling a bit down and having a rough day. No, I'm depressed in the way that I can lie in my bed for hours doing nothing except for crying, wondering what is wrong with me. I can wake up in the morning thinking that there is no point to life and I secretly wish I hadn't woken up. Or I can go to bed in the evening with my brain being a blurr and the only clear thought I have is: What can I do to end this suffering. For me it has never been in the way that I consider ending my life but there have been many times when I've considered if life is actually worth living. You might wonder how someone that has everything sorted out for them can feel this. Well the truth is, I don't have everything sorted out for me. No one ever does but sometimes people go through things that trigger a depression which is what I've done recently. In our world it is taboo to discuss how we feel. I've mentioned it before ...

A little less than 3 years ago a girl in her late teens packed her bags and went on a plane to Liverpool. With 2 full suitcases, her mum by her side and expectations about the future she was ready to start the last journey of her education: She was going to University. That girl was me. Now I am sitting here in a city that I now call home with my last assignments handed in, my last exams written and no lectures to go to. For many people that might seem like a relief or even a blessing sent from heaven. I see it as a pit stop in my life and I can't wait to refuel and keep on going with the race because at the moment I am just in stagnation without reason to be stuck. I finished university two weeks ago but it didn't hit me until now. I was too busy getting caught up with the issues of my life that I kind of completely forgot the fact that after 15 years of education I could finally stand up and say proudly: I've finished my degree. Yes, I haven't got my results yet but...

Sometimes a book can put your life into perspective. The Faults in our stars is one of those books. For those who haven't read it, the book is about a girl who has terminal cancer. It follows her dilemmas and problems being a teenager with more problems than just growing up. As in every book about growing up, she meets   boy that of course creates even more problems for her and she needs to deal with all these things at the same time as she deals with the fact that she is dying. When I was reading this book I was going through some difficult things in my life and I was expecting to get some inspiration from the book. It's not one of those books where everything ends up fine (won't spoil the end more than that) but it's one of those books that makes you realise that sometimes things aren't as bad as you think they are. John Green has managed to describe the feelings the characters have in a way that gives the reader an opportunity to both laugh and cry together wit...

I don't write about personal things, that has been my rule on this blog but I feel like this is something I can share with you guys. It's quite personal but it needs to be said. A few months ago I became friends with a person. This person quickly became an important part of my day and we talked a lot. When I say a lot I mean hours everyday. Because of this, this person became a person I cared about and felt comfortable with so I opened up to this person and let this person be someone that I trusted and felt that I could tell things I couldn't tell other people. During these three months we developed a close friendship that I really appreciated but I also became worried about losing this friend. This person sometimes needed space and I am a person that find it difficult to give people space which sometimes made this situation challenging. I felt pushy, needy and annoying. But I tried to work on myself to learn to deal with peoples' differences. This person became the ...