My Confusion and I

As I'm writing this post I have less than 48 h left in England. Yes, that sounds extremely dramatic but after living here for 6 years it definitely feels like a big deal. There are many emotions passing through when I think back of the time I've had here. It's been a massive roller coaster and I've met so many different people and learnt more than I ever thought I would, I mean I only came for university and we all know you don't learn anything there. For a long time I have wanted to move to Israel and for some reason there has always been something stopping me but then one day I felt ready, it was time to break free from the familiarity of rain, pints, red skin in the summer and people walking without shirts on the second the sun comes out. To be completely honest, I don't know how to express myself about leaving because I don't know how I feel about it. A part of me is excited and extremely happy but then there's that part that makes me feel sad beca...

Today is yet another day created to raise awareness for mental health. It's time to talk about the my experience of depression because believe me, each experience is different. It's been a while since I expressed how I feel here and shared the difficulties I've had with this mental health lately. It's always been there inside of me, bubbling and trying to get out but I have pushed it away. So I cried myself to sleep? So what? That is probably because I had a stressful day. It's completely normal. So I cancelled my plans with my friends? I'm just tired after a long day. These were the excuses I constantly made without realising that I kept shoving my feelings deeper down. By doing this I ended up being filled with so much hatred and anger that I didn't even know how to express it anymore apart from taking it out on everyone, including myself. I blamed the people around me for my feelings and I avoided to accept the truth; I was not myself anymore and I needed...

With the development of smartphones, tablets etc. our lives have become more and more based behind a screen. We communicate with friends and family behind the screen, do our shopping online, read books from a Kindle and so on. It's as we have become a society that is scared of social encounters where we actually have to look people in their eyes. In many people's opinion this is a negative development due to us not being able to interact with each other as we did in the "good old days". However, this can be seen as a positive thing at times. As we learn more about the difference between people we have come to learn that there are introverts and extroverts. If you haven't heard of these terms, in short, introverts get energized by being alone whilst extroverts thrive in social situations. This means that at times, introverts might not want to leave their room. Not because they don't want to have friends but simply because it is emotionally draining for them. S...

We all have friends, or at least I would like to think we do. In many cases we don't have the option to pick the people around us and we simply have to befriend the ones most similar to us or the ones we can easier get along with. But the older we get, the more options we have. Partly because we meet more people but we also learn how to say goodbye to the people that aren't worth having in our lives. This might not be because we don't care, it could simply be because they don't care. But in my life so far I've learnt a few things, there are ways to tell that you've actually picked great friends and I thought I should share them with you. Obviously these things are only my own opinion and you might disagree with me completely but hey ho, let's go. 1. They have seen you at your worst but that hasn't scared them away. In many cases it's even the opposite, it has brought you closer. This might mean they've seen you cry after a break up or you havi...

As my regular readers know, I have depression. This has been going on for many years and I've had my ups and downs. The last 3-4 months or so have been bad, really bad but I am finally feeling that I'm emotionally stable to some extent. I know that this has been mainly because I've been working on myself to achieve the things I wanted to achieve in life. I've reevaluated what's important in life and I've learnt how to deal with certain things that hurt me before. But this is not a post about how I've dealt with depression, no this is a post to say thank you to the people that have been there for me. I would say thank you for helping me to get out of it but that would be a lie. Depression is unfortunately not anything someone else can treat and as selfish as it sounds, I am the only one who has got myself out. However, I can thank you for being supportive, understanding and patient. The last 4 months made me antisocial, negative and sometimes very difficult...