My Confusion and I

Everyone wants to achieve things in life. Some people want a career, some want  a family and some want to beat the boss in the latest computer game. Regardless what you are doing you are constantly trying to achieve something. We often compare each other's achievements and decide whether someone is successful or not depending on what they've done in their lives but what we don't take into consideration is that everyone has different lives which means that some people will be able to achieve something easier than someone else and that makes this whole system wrong. My last few months have been a living hell, at least in my opinion. I've suffered from depression and even though it's not the first time, this time has been the worst. However, even though I still have depression I'm starting to feel that I'm not suffering from it anymore, it's simply a part of my life that will make me stronger. But why does this make my achievements different from others? W...

I recently met a few people for the first time. After spending less than 5 minutes with them they had already made at least 5 jokes about depression and other mental illnesses. Normally I would have told them off for it but I was a guest in their home and therefore laughed politely and pretended that everything was ok. But everything wasn't ok. Inside I was thinking that these people are fortunate enough to never have experienced enough bad things in their life to realise that mental illness isn't a joke and I don't actually find it funny at all. I started becoming jealous, wishing I could joke about mental illness and not see anything wrong with it but I quickly realised that I'm not jealous at all. As I've explained in a previous post I've been through depression. I still am and I have people around me going through similar things. It has taught me to appreciate the things that make me happy because I know that happiness isn't something that everyone expe...

I am depressed. Not in the way that you think about how you're feeling a bit down and having a rough day. No, I'm depressed in the way that I can lie in my bed for hours doing nothing except for crying, wondering what is wrong with me. I can wake up in the morning thinking that there is no point to life and I secretly wish I hadn't woken up. Or I can go to bed in the evening with my brain being a blurr and the only clear thought I have is: What can I do to end this suffering. For me it has never been in the way that I consider ending my life but there have been many times when I've considered if life is actually worth living. You might wonder how someone that has everything sorted out for them can feel this. Well the truth is, I don't have everything sorted out for me. No one ever does but sometimes people go through things that trigger a depression which is what I've done recently. In our world it is taboo to discuss how we feel. I've mentioned it before ...