My Confusion and I

It's been a while. It's been way too long but there honestly hasn't been enough time to process the last 6 months for me to be able to sit down and put my feelings into words. I've now lived in Israel for almost half a year and I am starting 2018 with a stomach bug but with so much happiness in my life. I am not going to lie, the last 6 months have been challenging and frustrating at times, but it is all worth it in the end or so I would hope at least. When you move to a new country there are a millions of things to adjust to. For me the hardest adjustment was probably accepting the fact that this is where I am settling down. No more moving around trying to find myself because let's face it, there's only so many places a person can live until it gets exhausting to feel like you have several different homes but yet none of those places feel permanent. Please G-D, Israel will be the place where home actually feels like home. So what inspired me to get back to my ...

As I'm writing this post I have less than 48 h left in England. Yes, that sounds extremely dramatic but after living here for 6 years it definitely feels like a big deal. There are many emotions passing through when I think back of the time I've had here. It's been a massive roller coaster and I've met so many different people and learnt more than I ever thought I would, I mean I only came for university and we all know you don't learn anything there. For a long time I have wanted to move to Israel and for some reason there has always been something stopping me but then one day I felt ready, it was time to break free from the familiarity of rain, pints, red skin in the summer and people walking without shirts on the second the sun comes out. To be completely honest, I don't know how to express myself about leaving because I don't know how I feel about it. A part of me is excited and extremely happy but then there's that part that makes me feel sad beca...

We all have friends, or at least I would like to think we do. In many cases we don't have the option to pick the people around us and we simply have to befriend the ones most similar to us or the ones we can easier get along with. But the older we get, the more options we have. Partly because we meet more people but we also learn how to say goodbye to the people that aren't worth having in our lives. This might not be because we don't care, it could simply be because they don't care. But in my life so far I've learnt a few things, there are ways to tell that you've actually picked great friends and I thought I should share them with you. Obviously these things are only my own opinion and you might disagree with me completely but hey ho, let's go. 1. They have seen you at your worst but that hasn't scared them away. In many cases it's even the opposite, it has brought you closer. This might mean they've seen you cry after a break up or you havi...

After finishing Lord of The Rings and the Hobbit my attitude towards the books is easy to describe; I'm in love with the books. As much as it is a struggle to get through Lord of The Rings I enjoyed every word of it and the Hobbit only made me like J.R.R Tolkien even more. One thing that made me love the books was Sméagol (Gollum). The character added a lot of entertainment but also food for thought in so many ways. We are constantly thrown between Sméagol and Gollum and the inner fight he has with himself of what he is. The reason for me feeling so connected to Sméagol is probably due to the fact that I believe everyone can relate to the feelings he is going through, especially in the society now-a-days where we often let our urge of having something can lead to us changing our behavior completely. Sméagol is one of the few characters in the book that is not purely good or bad, he switches between the two, in extreme ways. As strange as it might sound, he is just an exaggerated ...

After my last blog post I received some comments about me having doubts about my faith. Some people tried to understand why I dislike religion at the moment, some tried to convince me that there are good sides to the religion and the strangest reaction is the one I want to actually discuss. I was told that the reason for me having doubts was because I haven't found my soul mate to keep me on the right path. I was even invited to a course about how to find your soul mate and true love in Judaism. To be honest, this didn't surprise me since it's not the first time I've been told that the only way to be happy in life is to have a partner. Well in that case then, it's completely right that I'm not happy because who could be single and happy at the same time? Well apparently you're not meant to. So I thought I was going to clear some of these things out. Soul mates don't exist. There is no such thing as the one. I might not be experienced but I've met a...