After my last blog post I received some comments about me having doubts about my faith. Some people tried to understand why I dislike religion at the moment, some tried to convince me that there are good sides to the religion and the strangest reaction is the one I want to actually discuss. I was told that the reason for me having doubts was because I haven't found my soul mate to keep me on the right path. I was even invited to a course about how to find your soul mate and true love in Judaism. To be honest, this didn't surprise me since it's not the first time I've been told that the only way to be happy in life is to have a partner. Well in that case then, it's completely right that I'm not happy because who could be single and happy at the same time? Well apparently you're not meant to.
So I thought I was going to clear some of these things out.
Soul mates don't exist. There is no such thing as the one. I might not be experienced but I've met a handful of men that could have been the one if they wanted to but they have chosen to not take that place in my life. It comes down to wanting similar things in life and being able to oversee someone's bad sides. Mr or Miss Perfect doesn't exist and never will. Accept that now and your search will be a lot less painful.
We are constantly told that happiness comes from within but then suddenly we can't be happy without a partner. I think even a child can see the illogical thinking behind this. If we are relying on having a partner to be happy it clearly doesn't come from within and there is no point teaching us that. However, I've learnt that it doesn't matter if you have someone who loves you around you, it doesn't make you happy if you don't know how to be happy alone.
In the society now-a-days we live with a stigma that everyone wants a partner. If you are single there is either something wrong with you or you haven't made enough effort which is also considered wrong. Especially in religion, everything is about finding a partner. Even at the first meeting with someone you can be asked if you have a boyfriend and if you don't they are very quick to suggest men for you.
I believe this stigma is something that needs to stop. Instead of creating a world where people learn how to be happy alone we learn how to be co-dependent to the extent where it is hard to find inner happiness, believe me I would know. Being single is sometimes a choice we make because being in a relationship isn't right at the time. It doesn't mean we don't fall in love or sometimes wish we had that person to come home to. It simply means that being in a relationship would mean not learning how to be happy alone which is the most important thing in life in my opinion.
So all this stress about finding a soul mate is yet another thing that makes me doubt religion's view on life. Not being happy won't be solved by having someone by your side. It certainly won't make you find the right path since the right path is the path you want to go, not what anyone else tells you. And that can only be found by finding yourself. So for now I'm working on finding my soul mate and my soul mate is myself.
So I thought I was going to clear some of these things out.
Soul mates don't exist. There is no such thing as the one. I might not be experienced but I've met a handful of men that could have been the one if they wanted to but they have chosen to not take that place in my life. It comes down to wanting similar things in life and being able to oversee someone's bad sides. Mr or Miss Perfect doesn't exist and never will. Accept that now and your search will be a lot less painful.
We are constantly told that happiness comes from within but then suddenly we can't be happy without a partner. I think even a child can see the illogical thinking behind this. If we are relying on having a partner to be happy it clearly doesn't come from within and there is no point teaching us that. However, I've learnt that it doesn't matter if you have someone who loves you around you, it doesn't make you happy if you don't know how to be happy alone.
In the society now-a-days we live with a stigma that everyone wants a partner. If you are single there is either something wrong with you or you haven't made enough effort which is also considered wrong. Especially in religion, everything is about finding a partner. Even at the first meeting with someone you can be asked if you have a boyfriend and if you don't they are very quick to suggest men for you.
I believe this stigma is something that needs to stop. Instead of creating a world where people learn how to be happy alone we learn how to be co-dependent to the extent where it is hard to find inner happiness, believe me I would know. Being single is sometimes a choice we make because being in a relationship isn't right at the time. It doesn't mean we don't fall in love or sometimes wish we had that person to come home to. It simply means that being in a relationship would mean not learning how to be happy alone which is the most important thing in life in my opinion.
So all this stress about finding a soul mate is yet another thing that makes me doubt religion's view on life. Not being happy won't be solved by having someone by your side. It certainly won't make you find the right path since the right path is the path you want to go, not what anyone else tells you. And that can only be found by finding yourself. So for now I'm working on finding my soul mate and my soul mate is myself.
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