I don't write about personal things, that has been my rule on this blog but I feel like this is something I can share with you guys. It's quite personal but it needs to be said.
A few months ago I became friends with a person. This person quickly became an important part of my day and we talked a lot. When I say a lot I mean hours everyday. Because of this, this person became a person I cared about and felt comfortable with so I opened up to this person and let this person be someone that I trusted and felt that I could tell things I couldn't tell other people.
During these three months we developed a close friendship that I really appreciated but I also became worried about losing this friend. This person sometimes needed space and I am a person that find it difficult to give people space which sometimes made this situation challenging. I felt pushy, needy and annoying. But I tried to work on myself to learn to deal with peoples' differences.
This person became the one I wanted to talk to when I felt down because I felt that this person could cheer me up and make me calm.
But something happened. A bit over a week ago this person disappeared. This person stopped answering my texts, facebook messages, emails and phonecalls. In the beginning I got worried that something might have happened. My worst fear was that my friend was lying somewhere in a bush half dead. As the days went I realised this wasn't the case. I simply had lost a friend. I tried to get an explanation or at least some kind of goodbye from my friend but I didn't. So what happened, I kept trying. Probably a bit too much. Or not just probably, I tried way too much and probably ended up annoying my friend even more than I clearly had done before.
So why am I writing this here?
Well, first of all I'm writing this to let my readers know that even if I seem to have an idea about how I want life to be like, sometimes I am left clueless and make mistakes.
I also felt that I needed to explain how much it hurts to lose a friend. To be honest, it feels like someone has taken away the one person I need the most at the moment even though I know that's not true.
There will come new people into my life, I have other friends that I can talk to but my problem is that I still care. This friend of mine means a lot to me and even though this person has hurt me by ignoring me I honestly wouldn't have a go at this person if I got a phonecall. Why not you might ask? Well, I would be able to get my friend back. The thing is, I miss this person. I'm even willing to change things about our friendship to keep this person in my life even though my other friends tell me not to.
Losing a friend is hard, especially when you don't know why and you still care about that person. This led to me being reckless, call too many times, message constantly and aim to get some response but when thinking about it, it doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me a person that has been hurt and just wants her friend back.
But this also teaches me one important thing, make sure your friends know that you care about them because if they one day decide to leave you, at least they know that you cared.
A few months ago I became friends with a person. This person quickly became an important part of my day and we talked a lot. When I say a lot I mean hours everyday. Because of this, this person became a person I cared about and felt comfortable with so I opened up to this person and let this person be someone that I trusted and felt that I could tell things I couldn't tell other people.
During these three months we developed a close friendship that I really appreciated but I also became worried about losing this friend. This person sometimes needed space and I am a person that find it difficult to give people space which sometimes made this situation challenging. I felt pushy, needy and annoying. But I tried to work on myself to learn to deal with peoples' differences.
This person became the one I wanted to talk to when I felt down because I felt that this person could cheer me up and make me calm.
But something happened. A bit over a week ago this person disappeared. This person stopped answering my texts, facebook messages, emails and phonecalls. In the beginning I got worried that something might have happened. My worst fear was that my friend was lying somewhere in a bush half dead. As the days went I realised this wasn't the case. I simply had lost a friend. I tried to get an explanation or at least some kind of goodbye from my friend but I didn't. So what happened, I kept trying. Probably a bit too much. Or not just probably, I tried way too much and probably ended up annoying my friend even more than I clearly had done before.
So why am I writing this here?
Well, first of all I'm writing this to let my readers know that even if I seem to have an idea about how I want life to be like, sometimes I am left clueless and make mistakes.
I also felt that I needed to explain how much it hurts to lose a friend. To be honest, it feels like someone has taken away the one person I need the most at the moment even though I know that's not true.
There will come new people into my life, I have other friends that I can talk to but my problem is that I still care. This friend of mine means a lot to me and even though this person has hurt me by ignoring me I honestly wouldn't have a go at this person if I got a phonecall. Why not you might ask? Well, I would be able to get my friend back. The thing is, I miss this person. I'm even willing to change things about our friendship to keep this person in my life even though my other friends tell me not to.
Losing a friend is hard, especially when you don't know why and you still care about that person. This led to me being reckless, call too many times, message constantly and aim to get some response but when thinking about it, it doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me a person that has been hurt and just wants her friend back.
But this also teaches me one important thing, make sure your friends know that you care about them because if they one day decide to leave you, at least they know that you cared.
Kommentarer
Skicka en kommentar