I've moved a lot. Within the last 4 years I've probably lived in more that 10 different places. This has led to me having to learn that becoming attached to a place is not a good idea and it is important to learn how to deal with people in different places. I've also learnt that if I don't like it in one place I'll always have the option to go somewhere else. This was something that gave me comfort when I felt that every place I went had some kind of memory that I wanted to avoid. However, this time I moved deciding that I needed a fresh start. By moving to a new city I would be able to start all over again and leave my past behind.
I was wrong. I quickly realised that it was impossible to leave your past behind.
We have a tendency to hang on to our memories and find the smallest thing to remind us about it. This means that we can't escape from our past, we need to accept it and move on focusing on the future. Sometimes our past can scare our presence which makes us believe that we shouldn't be doing something because we've done it before and it hasn't worked out. One example of this is falling in love. Once we've gotten our heart broken once we are scared of falling again but we still do. We might be more careful since our memory is telling us not to make the same mistake again but it won't stop us from falling. Another example is fighting with a family member or a friend. We know that there is no point picking a fight about something but we still do it. In this case our memory doesn't only tell us that we've picked that fight before but it also reminds us that things will go back to normal afterwards and we are therefore not as cautious about this.
I've met many people in my life that are attached to the place they live. They wouldn't consider to move for anything in the world. To me that is not even an option. I go where life takes me. By living with that attitude I've had the pleasure of living in 3 countries and get to know people from many different backgrounds and cultures. It makes me more open to meeting new people but it also makes me realise that people come and go in my life and so do I in other people's lives. That doesn't mean I don't want to keep in touch with these people, it just means I'm moving on in my life and going to a place where I have more possibility to develop.
Since I've moved a lot you might wonder how I actually can feel at home. The truth is, I don't really feel at home anywhere. There is yet to come a place where I feel that I want to stay, where I can grow as a person, develop relationships with other people and feel like I don't want to leave. There is a possibility I will never find that place but I know that the search for that place will teach me things about others but mostly about myself. I will create memories that I want to take with me and memories that I want to leave behind but the place will never keep the memory because in the end it's not a place doesn't have a memory, I do.
I was wrong. I quickly realised that it was impossible to leave your past behind.
We have a tendency to hang on to our memories and find the smallest thing to remind us about it. This means that we can't escape from our past, we need to accept it and move on focusing on the future. Sometimes our past can scare our presence which makes us believe that we shouldn't be doing something because we've done it before and it hasn't worked out. One example of this is falling in love. Once we've gotten our heart broken once we are scared of falling again but we still do. We might be more careful since our memory is telling us not to make the same mistake again but it won't stop us from falling. Another example is fighting with a family member or a friend. We know that there is no point picking a fight about something but we still do it. In this case our memory doesn't only tell us that we've picked that fight before but it also reminds us that things will go back to normal afterwards and we are therefore not as cautious about this.
I've met many people in my life that are attached to the place they live. They wouldn't consider to move for anything in the world. To me that is not even an option. I go where life takes me. By living with that attitude I've had the pleasure of living in 3 countries and get to know people from many different backgrounds and cultures. It makes me more open to meeting new people but it also makes me realise that people come and go in my life and so do I in other people's lives. That doesn't mean I don't want to keep in touch with these people, it just means I'm moving on in my life and going to a place where I have more possibility to develop.
Since I've moved a lot you might wonder how I actually can feel at home. The truth is, I don't really feel at home anywhere. There is yet to come a place where I feel that I want to stay, where I can grow as a person, develop relationships with other people and feel like I don't want to leave. There is a possibility I will never find that place but I know that the search for that place will teach me things about others but mostly about myself. I will create memories that I want to take with me and memories that I want to leave behind but the place will never keep the memory because in the end it's not a place doesn't have a memory, I do.
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