I was born and raised as a member of the Jewish Community of Stockholm. As a child I went to the jewish school, took part in many activities and was a frequent synagogue goer. When I reached that age when I had to think about how I wanted my Bat Mitzvah my choice was easy, of course I would do the same thing as my grandfather, my dad and my 3 siblings did, I would do something in the Great Synagogue in Stockholm. However, I considered one of the orthodox synagogues, Adat Jeshurun, my synagogue and I barely went in to the Great Synagogue. The choice was easy for one single reason, tradition. As a grandchild of holocaust survivors my family doesn't have many traditions and it would feel strange not stick to one of the few ones we actually have. This meant me compromising as a 12 year old girl and tell them that I didn't want to have the organ playing or have the microphones.
My Bat Mitzvah was one of the last times I set my foot in that synagogue and I know my children won't be able to keep our tradition because the synagogue has turned into something I do not support and doesn't keep the level of religion that I want to keep and I know for a fact that many other families are experience the exact same thing but to be honest this is not what upsets me. Yes, I can't deny that I would wish to see my family's tradition go on but unfortunately sometimes change is for the good for others but you just have to accept that you need to give up something for them.
What really upsets me though is the way people in my community can't seem to respect each other. Thanks to social media I can easily keep up with what is going on and what kind of discussions people are having and to be quite honest, it feels like we're back in kindergarten. People are constantly trying to show that they know everything and that they are right. I can't say I agree with everything that is going on in the Great Synagogue because I really don't but that doesn't mean they don't have the right to practice their way of being jewish. It doesn't affect me at all since I have the choice to go to another synagogue and take part in an orthodox service and I shouldn't be criticized by choosing that direction. Let's just take the student society I'm involved in here in Liverpool where we manage to get on fine with each other even though we represent many different groups of judaism because we realise that there is no point excluding someone that wants to be a part of the group and if they keep shabbat or go out clubbing on friday night doesn't affect me at all.
One of the groups online that I'm a part of is constantly full with long discussions between people from different synagogues coming up with all kinds of arguments to tell everyone else that what they're doing is right and what other people are doing is wrong. When I see this I get even more confirmation that I did the right choice to leave that community because I've been shown that criticizing each other does not lead to a better community or anyone being right, it leads to people focusing more on criticism than actually focusing on the religion.
I used to care about these discussions and take a side but I've recently realised that why should I? They never lead anywhere and I won't change anyones mind. It shouldn't be a competition between the groups, it has to be a way to be able to coexist because we have to support each other because in the end we are one religion regardless the different opinions. So, so what if the Great Synagogue has a progressive service or some people seem to have too much spare time and set up a website where they question decisions the Jewish Community is doing? That doesn't affect my belief and it shouldn't affect yours either. I have the choice to go to whatever synagogue I want and practice the religion however I want to and no one should tell me that it is wrong.
I'm not saying we can't discuss different topics and disagree with what other people think but we need to learn to respect other people's choices. We need to stop trying to prove to other people that what we're doing is right because if it actually was the right thing we wouldn't have to defend our religious choices. They would speak for themself.
My Bat Mitzvah was one of the last times I set my foot in that synagogue and I know my children won't be able to keep our tradition because the synagogue has turned into something I do not support and doesn't keep the level of religion that I want to keep and I know for a fact that many other families are experience the exact same thing but to be honest this is not what upsets me. Yes, I can't deny that I would wish to see my family's tradition go on but unfortunately sometimes change is for the good for others but you just have to accept that you need to give up something for them.
What really upsets me though is the way people in my community can't seem to respect each other. Thanks to social media I can easily keep up with what is going on and what kind of discussions people are having and to be quite honest, it feels like we're back in kindergarten. People are constantly trying to show that they know everything and that they are right. I can't say I agree with everything that is going on in the Great Synagogue because I really don't but that doesn't mean they don't have the right to practice their way of being jewish. It doesn't affect me at all since I have the choice to go to another synagogue and take part in an orthodox service and I shouldn't be criticized by choosing that direction. Let's just take the student society I'm involved in here in Liverpool where we manage to get on fine with each other even though we represent many different groups of judaism because we realise that there is no point excluding someone that wants to be a part of the group and if they keep shabbat or go out clubbing on friday night doesn't affect me at all.
One of the groups online that I'm a part of is constantly full with long discussions between people from different synagogues coming up with all kinds of arguments to tell everyone else that what they're doing is right and what other people are doing is wrong. When I see this I get even more confirmation that I did the right choice to leave that community because I've been shown that criticizing each other does not lead to a better community or anyone being right, it leads to people focusing more on criticism than actually focusing on the religion.
I used to care about these discussions and take a side but I've recently realised that why should I? They never lead anywhere and I won't change anyones mind. It shouldn't be a competition between the groups, it has to be a way to be able to coexist because we have to support each other because in the end we are one religion regardless the different opinions. So, so what if the Great Synagogue has a progressive service or some people seem to have too much spare time and set up a website where they question decisions the Jewish Community is doing? That doesn't affect my belief and it shouldn't affect yours either. I have the choice to go to whatever synagogue I want and practice the religion however I want to and no one should tell me that it is wrong.
I'm not saying we can't discuss different topics and disagree with what other people think but we need to learn to respect other people's choices. We need to stop trying to prove to other people that what we're doing is right because if it actually was the right thing we wouldn't have to defend our religious choices. They would speak for themself.
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