The choice of friends

I've always had people telling me that we can't choose your family but you can choose your friends and I think many other people heard that too. In one way that is true, we are born with a family and there is nothing we can do about it. We are kind of obligated to love our family, luckily I am fortunate I  have a family I happily love and I appriciate them very much but there are people with problems that makes it difficult for them to love their family. In that situation they can choose their friends to love and get support from. But sometimes you don't have the opportunity to choose your friends and you actually have to become friendly with people you wouldn't have chosen in the beginning.

I can't really say I've got the chance to choose my friends, not last year on my gap year or this year in England. I'm not saying I haven't chosen who I speak to often and to whom I tell some things I don't share with everyone because I have. However, there are some people I reckon I wouldn't have been as good friends with as I am if I had other people to choose from. Don't get me wrong, I really like the people around me and I am happy that I have them as my friends but it has taken a bit more effort to become friends with them then it did with the people I actually had the choice to be friends with.

I am not trying to say that not being able to choose your friends is a bad thing. I rather believe that it could be a good thing. Yes, we do need to be around people we feel comfortable with and enjoy spending time with but who says we can't learn to be around other people and find something that we have in common. After all we can't always choose who we spend time with. On your course in University, your job or even at a party there will always be some people you wouldn't choose to spend time with if you could choose but you still have to get along with them and get through a day with them around.

For me, by not always being able to choose who I am suppose to be friends with has taught me that even if you don't have everything in common with someone you can always find something that interest both of you. It might be difficult but if you try hard enough you can find something that will catch both's interest and you can actually have  proper conversation. It's all about being open to new things and respect that some people enjoy some things and some enjoy something else.

If you are open to different things and are willing to listen to someone talking about something you might not found interesting before you might learn something else. You might even find it interesting and continue learn about that. All you have to do is to acually listen to someone before you choose not to be their friend.

There might times when you find it difficult to be friends with someone because you feel like you don't really have a choice but that happens with people you've chosen also. Instead of saying they're not your friend, take a break and give them another chance. Just because you find them annoying at the moment doesn't mean they will be annoying in a while.

Since I live in country where I don't have my family I've learnt to see my friends as my family. It is at least the closest I can come to a family in Liverpool. The same thing with my friends from my gap year. I can't always choose them but even if it comes to a time when I can choose other friends I will still consider them as my friends because the truth is you can't really choose your friends either. Your friends are the people around you and you need to appriciate them as if they were your family. After all, in many cases they are the ones seeing you go through changes, good and bad times. The same way as your parents and siblings did when you were a kid.