I have now been a volunteer in ambulances in Israel for about 6 months actively. During this time I've seen many drunk people, old people with high blood pressure, people with stomach ache and people who I really have no idea why they called the ambulance at all but I've also seen really ill people. Some people with problems breathing and would probably stop breathing if we didn't give them oxygen, some people without a pulse, and therefore the need of CPR, and car accidents. Luckily the CPR I've done was successful and I can live my life knowing I've saved someone else's life but I've also seen people die.
The first time you see someone die you don't really know how to react. My reaction was to first calm the family down because that was all I can do. However, the things going on in my mind was "oh my god, what just happend?" Did I do something wrong? What did I miss?. I couldn't get it of my mind even though we did everything we could. I felt dirty,confused, helpless and extremly guilty. Seeing someone die infront of your eyes makes you feel that you should have been able to do something, that is what I was trained to do. This person was, however, 90 years old and I guess it was her time to go.
That comforted me but when I a couple of months later saw a 10 year old die after being hit by a car on the high-way I couldn't find any comfort. It wasn't his time to go, he had his whole life infront of him but if made me realise how precious life is. It can disappear in a second.
Yesterday my friends, who just started volunteering in ambulances had to see 3 girls die because of a car ran them over and as new volunteers they haven't had the chance to see all the good things yet with helping sick people. These volunteers, only 16 years old, had to witness this difficult thing too. I know the feeling but I also know that it goes away. You learn to live with the difficult things you've seen and switch it to something positive. I'll always carry it with me but I can't keep dwelling on it. I am alive, healthy and I don't need an ambulance. For that I am thankful.
People die everyday and unfortunately I've seen it happen, that doesn't make me sad anymore, it makes me appreciate that I am alive. As a volunteer I've seen the good sides too of life, there are many of them and that is why I do it. To help people less fortunate than me because one day, heaven forbid, that might be me and then I would want someone to be there for me. That is why volunteering has been such an important part of my life and something I encourage everyone to do. We need to take care of our life and realise the importance of it. We only live once and believe me, I know it can get taken away from us when we least expect it.
The first time you see someone die you don't really know how to react. My reaction was to first calm the family down because that was all I can do. However, the things going on in my mind was "oh my god, what just happend?" Did I do something wrong? What did I miss?. I couldn't get it of my mind even though we did everything we could. I felt dirty,confused, helpless and extremly guilty. Seeing someone die infront of your eyes makes you feel that you should have been able to do something, that is what I was trained to do. This person was, however, 90 years old and I guess it was her time to go.
That comforted me but when I a couple of months later saw a 10 year old die after being hit by a car on the high-way I couldn't find any comfort. It wasn't his time to go, he had his whole life infront of him but if made me realise how precious life is. It can disappear in a second.
Yesterday my friends, who just started volunteering in ambulances had to see 3 girls die because of a car ran them over and as new volunteers they haven't had the chance to see all the good things yet with helping sick people. These volunteers, only 16 years old, had to witness this difficult thing too. I know the feeling but I also know that it goes away. You learn to live with the difficult things you've seen and switch it to something positive. I'll always carry it with me but I can't keep dwelling on it. I am alive, healthy and I don't need an ambulance. For that I am thankful.
People die everyday and unfortunately I've seen it happen, that doesn't make me sad anymore, it makes me appreciate that I am alive. As a volunteer I've seen the good sides too of life, there are many of them and that is why I do it. To help people less fortunate than me because one day, heaven forbid, that might be me and then I would want someone to be there for me. That is why volunteering has been such an important part of my life and something I encourage everyone to do. We need to take care of our life and realise the importance of it. We only live once and believe me, I know it can get taken away from us when we least expect it.
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