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Israel - a state that makes me feel safe.

As a Jew I often have the feeling I need to defend Israel. Not because I want to defend them all the time but for the fact that I often get blamed for what Israel Defence Forces (IDF) does. I think there is something within me telling me that I need to defend them because if I don't, no one will, which is a feeling I reckon many Jews have.
I am not Israeli. I was born and raised in Sweden and if there is any nationality I should be mix up with it should be Polish or Hungarian/Romanian where my grandparents come from but I now have a strong connection to Israel for many reasons. First of all, I've probably spent at least 2 weeks there every year, if not more. Secondly, I have family and friends there. And thirdly, it is after all, although all different opinions, a Jewish state. It is a state where I can buy kosher food, go to a synagogue and not be afraid of showing I'm Jewish.
It might be difficult to understand why this is so important for me and other Jews but there is a good reason for it. At least it is my reason. My grandparents had to go through the Holocaust where they lost most of their family. They had to suffer for the fact that they were Jewish. No one Jewish could go safe in Europe and some people managed to escape to, during that time, Palestine. That trip wasn't an easy trip but they had to escape and there was no better place to escape than that. Probably because it had been a Jewish state before and there are many holy places for us Jews on that land.
They needed the safety, and they got it, even though there were Arab countries around them attacking them and trying to kill them. For some reason they managed to win the wars and keep the Jews safe to some extent. Now-a-days many Jews are exposed to antisemitism, at least I have. I've got swastiskas ingraved on my car or sprayed on my housewall, I've had people saying Heil Hitler infront of me but worst of all, I've had people using Jew as a bad word and judging me because of my religion. When this happens I am happy I have Israel. It gives me a security that when this happens in Europe I have a place to go. A place far away where I actually have the right to live beucase of the fact that I am a Jew.
Just because I believe in the Jewish state and Israel being placed where it is doesn't mean I am against Palestinians. It means I believe we, as Jews, have the right to be there. What my political beliefs are has nothing to do with it. It shouldn't have at least. Being called a racist or hearing people compare Israel to the Nazis makes me feel sick. I am not a racist. Yes, I admit, if you ask my friends they would probably say that I tell racist jokes but I can't recall one single moment when I've been making fun of Palestinians. But haven't we all said something racist? That doesn't mean we actually mean it.
Comparing Israel to Nazis is just taking everything one or maybe many steps too far. Just to state what we already know. The nazis wanted to kill Jews, homosexuals, handicapped and everyone who wasn't "normal". They organised efficient ways to kill people. Israel does not do that. Yes, in war Palestinians have gotten killed which is sad but Israel has never killed civilians on purpose. You can't compare those two. That is disrespectful and disgusting. Just to make it clear, I'm not saying it's right to kill people and that I am against Palestinians because I am not.
What I am against is Hamas which I hope all of you are but the same way as you need to seperate the British people from their government we need to seperate the Palestinians from Hamas.
When people ask me if I want to kill Palestinian kids, which is a question I've got many times, I usually answer "Yes, I love killing kids" for them to understand how stupid that question is. I don't hate them, I just want Israel to be a Jewish state for the simple fact that my religion has such a strong connection to that piece of land and the safety as I explained before.
I know it's difficult to understand this and many people will probably think I'm just defending Israel. I probably am unconciously even though I try not to. I don't support everything Israel does but it is easy to defend things you wouldn't defend otherwise just for the fact that if I don't, no one will. I don't want to be judged just because I am a zionist and I definitely don't want people to think that I have certain opinions just because I believe in a Jewish state. I support Israel, I will always do that. But the same way as people support their families but might not agree with their parents or sibilings all the time I sometimes disagree with what Israel does but in general support them. That doesn't make me a racist, it simply makes me a person that has been exposed to hatred because of religion and wants a place where I can feel free.
I know it's not easy to understand how it feels not to feel safe in the country you come from because many of you are born in a country or with an ethnicity that doesn't give you problems. I am happy that you are and that you can't understand but I am also a bit frustrated. It is difficult not being able to explain with words what I feel when I hear someone denying the holocaust or waking up and getting the newspaper and someone has destroyed our house, my home, the only place I actually can feel safe. To get that feeling, that you're not even safe in your own home makes me even sure of that we have the right to Israel. I am saying that without denying the Palestinians anything because that is not what I want. If I could fix this I would but I would never ever take away Israel, that is like taking away my home and people have already taken away my safe place that I used to call home. (There are many reasons for that and I would love to explain but not now )
There is no ultimate solution to this conflict and I think we all can agree on that.I, as much as other people, want peace but it is not that simple. We can fight with each other, call each other names and defend our opinion but that won't help. What we need to do is to try to understand the other side. I'm not saying I can understand the Palestinians but I'm willing to try. If we tried to listen to both sides and actually made an effort maybe we would be able to come up with a solution together. However, right now, there is more focus on hating each other and making the other side look bad. I am tired of that hatred, I am tired of being called  racist and most of all, I am tired of people being ignorant of what's actually going on in the rest of the world because they are too occupied getting involved in something that actually doesn't affect them at all.

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